Funny SMS, Text Messages - Page 5

+45

Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born

+40

Whats d height of hope??
It is: sitting in d exam hall,holding d question paper in hand
and telling Ur self “dude,don’t worry.Exams will get postponed!”

+25

Who’s hot… Its U,
Who’s
Charming… Its U,
Who’s
Sweetest.. Its U,
Who’s
Intelligent… Its U,
Who’s dear & near friend… Its U
Who’s a liar.. Its me

+35

Catch her by her waist…
Bring her home..
Keep ur hand on her neck
Put ur lips on her lips
& have a …
…nice drink…PEPSI

+45

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper so I would be in ur hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that u were a newspapers so I could have a new one everyday.

+20

A man in Hell asked Devil:
Can I make a call to my Wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.

+48

A man to Santa:Your friend is kissing your wife in your home.
Santa rushes home and came back within half an hour.Slapped the man and said:“He’s not my friend.”

+32

I always think about U.
I can’t live without U.
I really need U.
I’m totally mad about U.
I just wanna be with U.
I’m crazy 4 U.
I wanna marry U.
I LOVE U.
(My neighborer say all this to me)

+19

Man on phone:
Doctor my wife is pregnant.She is having pain right now.
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Man: No this is her husband speaking…

+22

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?”
Millionaire: “I owe everything to my wife.”
Interviewer: “Wow, she must be some woman.
Interviewer: “What were you before you married her?”
Millionaire: “A Billionaire”

+30

A very old lady teacher of English ask this question with the class:
When I say “I am beautiful”, which tense is it?
One pupil answered: Its the past tense of course.

+38

Never KISS a lady police,
She will say, hands up.
Never KISS a lady doctor,
She will say, Next please
Always KISS a lady teacher,
She will say, repeat it 5 time

+25

Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
“can kids of our age have kids?”
Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”
Boy said to girl :
“see i told you not to worry!!!!”.

+15

Twinkle Twinkle little star,
You should know what you are,
And once you know what you are,
Mental hospital is not so far.

+24

Always start your day with a lot of S E X
S-mile
E-energy
X-excitement
so make SEX a daily habit, & u’ll always be SMILING!