Funny SMS

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If you are in tension, If nothing seems right, If u find no way out, Then just think of me only once, I will be always there to INCREASE your tensions.

+2

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, You know, I was a fool when I married you. The husband replied, Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.

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Today, tomorrow and yesterday there will be, one heart that would always beat for you,You know Whose??? your Own Stupid!!!

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Can u pronounce good English:- read along woof,roof, loof, shoof, shoof, woof, loof, roof, poof, woof woof, hoof, woof, roof, shoof.

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Q: Do u know y in a couple’s photo man is on the right side & woman on the left?
A: Coz as per balance sheet, Liabilities are on the Left Side & Assets on the Right!

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Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.
Everyone must attend it.
Sam: No! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher: Why?
Sam: My mother will not allow me to go so far !!

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Misuse of English!
A Diagram in A Book Was Not Clear
So the Teacher Drew The Diagram On Da Blackboard
&
said:
“Don’t Look At The Book Figure,Look At My Figure”:D

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Judge: why did u shoot ur wife instead of shooting her lover?
Man: Your honor, it’s easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.

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U r a nice person…
but..U have to do 2 things early in the morning…
1st. pray to God so that u can live….
2nd.take a bath so that others can live….

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Only true friends stand by u during bad times.
I promise, I will attend ur wedding.